THE SOCIETY AND ITS MISTREATMENT OF THE GIRL

South Africa is currently dealing with two Pandemics, the “RONA virus’’ and the GENDER BASED VIOLENCE.

Alexandra township is said to be one of the hotspots, amongst the thirty places, of Gender Based Violence according the statistic that was issued by the department of police.

We are not surprised that Alexandra Township made the cut on this list. Its one of the things that we ‘’excel on’’ amongst other things.

With the events that have been happening around the country, most centered around the mistreatment of children, especially the girl child, and women at the hands of men, the Blue Birds girls have requested this story to be done to voice their own experiences with regards to this act of evil against women and children.

Gender based violence against women in our society has been a serious issue. It is only now that the people who are victims of this crime are actively speaking out on it and exposing “THE MEN” for what he really is.

He is cruel, he is privileged in this society, and he is hiding behind his role as a patriarch, because he thinks he owns the WOMEN. He does not care for the women, because he will hurt her every chance he gets.

The hashtag ‘’Men are trash’’ comes from a painful place within the women’s heart, it comes from men seeing the struggles women face in their daily lives but do not act on it, simply because it is not a problem to them. Women’s hearts are filled with hate, anger, desperation and fear from what could happen to them…what could happen to their kids who are at school or at home alone with their cousins or uncles or brothers. A lot can happen to a child at home, a place where it is a safe space for you to trust and unwind, is sometimes a HELL HOLE for a girl child and the boy child.

As much as this violence is heavily felt on the women and the girl, young boys and men are also victims of it too. But we are not ready to talk about that yet. That’s a story for a different time.

His switch up is real. One moment you are chilling with him, having a good time, and the next he is forcing his heavy body on you, over-powering you with his strength because he has edges he claims he cannot control, he has a mentality that tells him he is entitled to your body, he assumes that you are playing hard to get and you low key want him, even though you have made it very clear to him that you are not there for that. He has not normalized the fact that a man can maintain a non-romantic relationship with a woman.

He is a real problem!

‘’I was coming from school, on my way to the taxi rank when they grabbed me. I did not know what was happening, it all happened so fast. One even attempted to hit me on my face…with is fist but I managed to dodge it. There were people around, men even, but none helped’’

‘’I came across this brother in town, he greeted and I him and went about my business, but he kept insisting that I stop to talk to him, I didn’t want to and kept walking away. So, he ended up grabbing me by my hand, forcing me into a corner to get my attention…I cried for help from a man passing by, but he ignored me.’’

‘’I told a male friend of mine about my experience of sexual harassment I have encounted in town, he asked what I was wearing’’

‘’ one of the things I blame about this situation in the black community is the culture and tradition that is all centered around the patriarchy and masculinity that a woman or a girl is always reminded of each day of her life, be at home, at school, in the taxi, in the streets.

Statements such as, ‘’you have to wash the dishes Tumi, you are a girl’’ or, ‘’sit properly, a girl does not sit like that’’ or ‘’- is a boy, you cannot expect him to do duties around the house’’.

 My question is to the masses, why does the girl child have to be subjected to be a man’s maid in her life? why do I have to be relegated to the kitchen? Why do I have to identify myself as a person around what a man or society perceives as a lady or a girl or a woman?

This backward mentality that we still carry in our black communities is weighting me down and giving me massive back aches. I am young girl and what I already know so far is that I am noting in this community but something that a man can unwind on.

The men have so much that he needs to work on, he cannot continuously treat the women like the way he is treating her now. There is no love from him, just toxicity and disgusting misogynistic behavior.

By_Tumisang Leboa